Surrender to your heart's darkest desires
by mrs.alecvolturix
Summary: After Renesmee decides enough is enough, she takes off in search of refuge away from her overprotective family and finds herself somewhere she never expected, will she surrender to her heart's darkest desires. my first fanfic !
1. overprotective

My first day of school can you believe it, wow school I've wanted to go for so long now it's come to it, well i really don't know. You see I've never ever set foot in a school, my parents always said 'your growth rate is to noticeable you could be 5,3 one day and 5,5 the next, I think people would notice Renesmee' yeah well you see I'm 7 soon to be 8, But I look around 16 or 17. So here is the deal, my name is Renesmee Cullen daughter to Edward and Bella Cullen I live in forks, yeah, i know lame weather, and i am one of the 5 hybrids in the world. I don't know if this is a good or bad thing because no one fully understands me, but i have a really loving coven of vampires as my family I love them to pieces and wouldn't change them for anything I have two uncles Jasper and Emmett, two aunts Alice and Rosalie, and my loving grandparents Esme and Carlisle Cullen.

His sent hit me before I heard him, taking me out of my little day dream.

"so, are you ready" Jacob's Husky voice challenged, i turned around to see him standing there with my bag wow I really did feel like a big kid right now first day of actual school, i have never talked to anyone my own age ever or anyone outside our family or the wolves but still first time for everything. My granddad Carlisle taught me to me optimistic and to face challenges with a brave face, which really does not help me today.

Jacob was looking at me worried "you don't have to do this, you can wait a few years longer there is honestly no rush". Honestly people in this family or people who are close to my family Jacob for instance pussy foot around me way to much, just because I'm half human don't mean I'm going to break at any moment.

A sigh came from my dad "be nice Renesmee" yeah, i also get no privacy what so ever. "Jacob, I'll be fine, can we please just go". " Ness are you su..." .

"can we go now please", if i had said that any louder i would have defend him. I didn't mean to be mean but still he gets on my last nerve sometimes.

My family gathered around and all hugged me, if my mom could cry she would be right now. Alice got the camera and started taking loads of photos. "Ok, ok I think you got enough there" I said with a bit of a laugh, i was trying to cover my annoyance.

The ride to school from Jake was a little awkward but still, i wanted him to know I'm no longer a kid my age is simply just a number nothing else. " Ness, you now i care about you right and i don't want anyone ever hurting you, I'm sorry if you think I'm a little over protective but, i do love you Nessie that will never change" and I loved him with all my heart he was like a big brother to me. " I know but sometimes it's a little frustrating to be watched over all the time i get enough from my parents and i love you to Jake but you have to remember I'm not a little girl anymore my age it literally just a number"

" i will ehh... try to be a little more understanding ness, oh yeah before i forget wanna come now to the rez to night i wanna talk to you about something" after a silent pause "sure but I've gotta stop at home first my family is gonna wanna know how my first day went". "alright ness see you soon have a nice day" he replied and sped off.

* * *

**A/N: hey guys, this is my first ever fanfic and just shout out to me if you want me to carry on, because i am unsure whether this is good or not. twilight and all the characters owned by Stephenie Meyer. plot belongs to me.**


	2. Chapter 2: School

A/N): disclaimer all characters belong to stephenie meyer (except the ones i make up and the plot)

Hey Guys, there has been some questioning about my punctuation. I just want to let you all know I do try my best to get it all done correctly, and i will keep for the story I want to know what is going through your guys minds about it. Write me a review, tell me what you all think!

* * *

Just as I started walking to reception, it rained. I keep telling my self that there's nothing to worry about its just school, no one can hurt me here, they are just humans. ok so I'm over reacting what can I say I've always been a little melodramatic. I step in to the office at the receptionist greets me with a smile. I try to smile back but I'm just to nervous.

"hello dear, you must be the new student" she picked up a piece of paper which looked like my timetable.

"Re-nezz-me cullen". wow really I've been in this school 2 minutes and my name is all ready causing complications thanks a bunch mom.

"Renesmee" I corrected her.

"yeah, umm... I was told to come here before first period". wow i felt like an idiot.

"yes of course well I actually have your timetable here, don't worry I'm sure you wont have any problems fitting in, Renesmee".

"thanks" as i left the office i could hear my heart pounding in my ear drums. Calm down Renesmee.I had no idea where I was going I was going to have to ask someone.I came across this guy who was wearing a baseball jacket. He was definitely a jock and a hot one at that,so no way in hell am I asking him and making my self look more dumb than i already look.

Then I saw a quite looking girl just carrying her books rushing a little to class, I caught up to her in no time but obviously in human speed "excuse me do you know where class 4A is I'm totally lost" she turned and looked a little shocked I was talking to her.

"I'm in 4A right now,follow me its just down the hall" so we started to walk in silence.

"my name is Renesmee, everyone calls me ness, strange names i know" i said breaking the silence with my nervous laugh.

"I'm jenny, is your nickname like the same as" she laughed a little "the loch ness monster" ? I had to laugh a little to because I did find funny.

"yup,my best friend came up with it" I replied with a little smile on my face. Maybe school isn't going to be that bad.

"here we are 4A, math".

As i walked in my mouth turned dry and there was a slight burn, I've never been in an enclose space with so many humans before. Before I could register any of these thoughts. The teacher started talking.

"class this is...", he raised his arm my way and looked at me to finish his sentence.

"Renesmee" i stated. there where some singgers in the class which i chose to ignore.

"Renesmee, you can sit any where you like". I sat by Jenny since she was sitting alone and she was the only one I had really talked to. Me and Jenny, sat in silence but not the awkward kind it was nice just to sit and relax. The things humans learn are so primitive, I knew all of this by the time I was 2 years old.

It was the end of our double math session, gosh that was a drag. But it bets staying in the house with overprotective family.

It was finally lunch and Jenny said I can sit by her and her friends.

"hey guys" i said quite cheerfully not wanting to look unapproachable.

"hey Nessie" Jenny's friends said almost at the same introduced me to all her friends, they all seemed super polite.

"Nessie this is Holly, Ellie and Lexi" they all sat there grinning,which made me feel like i was welcomed to the table instead of feeling un wanted.

The rest of lunch we just talked about you know the girly kinds of stuff, boys, make up and shopping, they also told me who to stay clear from like the 'populars' as they called them and from what they told me i would want to go near any of be honest they looked completely fake, their tan and make up looked orange, they looked that bad if they was a little shorter you would have mistaken them for one of those

Oompa Loompas' from charlie and the chocolate factory. Jenny and her friends Holly, Lexi and Ellie was all really friendly and they seemed to welcome me in to there group with open arms.

My last double lesson of the day, science I quite enjoy science because I'm really good at it,or at least I think I am Jenny wasn't in this lesson nor was Holly, Lexi or Ellie. But I tried to keep my self to my self.

"Hey you" a girl shouted to me abruptly. I turned around with my brows furrowed. she looked down at me and squinted her eyes. Ohh no shes one of the Oompa Loompa girls. Clam down Nessie she can't hurt you.

"can i help you ?" I replied in the same tone as she had spoken to me.

"why don't I know you, whats you name?" she asked me in that nasty tone of hers.

"I'm new, and its Renesmee" I said in a softer tone not wanting to start started to laugh along with the rest of the orange, brown rooted freaks at me. Suddenly I was feeling nauseated I wanted to go home.

"what kind of name is that" the fake blond one looked at me with piecing eyes, jezz if she didn't put her face right it would stick.

"a unique one" I had no idea what else to say, so I turned round and didn't look at them the whole lesson. But thanks to my vampire hearing I herd all there little hurtful remarks.

I mentally thanked the lord when the bell rang, home time finally. As I stepped out side it had finally stopped raining and Jacob was there leaning against his bike,oh yeah I wondered what he wanted to talk to me about.

"hey Jake" he opened his arms to me and I welcomed his hug.

"hey, Nessie how was your day" he asked while still hugging me, wow I was getting some glares from people.

"it was great, learnt loads made some new friends you know" I deiced to miss out the part where some girls had been taking the piss out of me.I just smiled at him got my helmet on and got on the back of his bike.

"remember, home first then to the rez" as I hugged his waist keeping me on the bike.

"ok you got it" and with that we was gone, after having an ok-ish first day at was staring to bug me though what did Jake want to talk about that is so important that, he couldn't just tell me there and then.

* * *

Pleasee,Pleasee,Pleasee Review ! x


	3. Lies

Disclaimer all twilight stuff belongs to Stephenie Meyer (I own the actual plot)

A/N) Sorry I havent updated in a few days I hope you like this chap.

**Please review It makes me smile to know what you guys think.**

* * *

We finally reached the house, where my family where waiting anxiously, me and Jake rushed up the stairs. He seemed quite anxious; I wonder if he's ok?

Just as I walked in, they swarmed me with different questions "ok, ok one at a time please" I yelled. I knew they where happy to see me but could they bring it down just a notch.

"How was it?" my mom questioned me with a worried expression on her face.

"It was completely fine mom, I even made some new friends" I reassured her.

"Did anyone try and hit on you yet" Emmett Laughed.

"Ugh, no thank god" I heard my dad give a sigh of relief and funnily enough Jake looked relived to.

"Learn anything new?" My dad asked me "from the teachers no, but I did learn a lot about communicating with humans, you know how to act like them".

"So, you had fun on your first day" my dad always had to be certain.

"Yes, it was fine, the people was fine and I'm fine, any other questions cuz I wanna go down to the Rez with Jake" People fussed over me way to much.

My dads had mixed expressions. "Fine but don't be back to late".

"Oh and Jacob look after her"

"Edward nothing is gonna hurt Ness down the Rez" Jake replied quickly. Mom sighed at him, probably for using the name Nessie. My dad half heartedly waved us off.

Me and Jake rushed out the house to his bike. I quickly got my helmet on, I hate these helmets they make my hair look so flat. I yet again got on the back of his bike and we sped off quickly down to the Rez. But, we didn't go and say hello to anyone like I though we would, we just went to the beach. It was nice, just me and him.

"So Jake you wanted to talk about something, shoot" he didn't make eye contact, he just kept his eyes looking forward. His silence was aggravating me. "Jake?" I said with the smallest amount of sternness. He looked down at me in to my eyes and held my hands. "Nessie, do you know why I stuck around after your mom was changed?" I wanted to tell him to stop beating around the bush and tell me, but I went along with this little speech of his.

"Because even though my mom was a vampire you still loved her" that's what I truly thought, I had always wondered why my dad hadn't killed him by now. "What, no Ness" he almost seemed insulted and hurt.

A worried flicker went over my face. "What I mean is Ness, I stayed because of you"

Wait what? I didn't know what to think, 'because of me' what the hell does this mean?

"When you where a baby, I'm not going to lie I though you where a monster". My face was frozen.

I suppose it was understandable he thought I was a monster; I did almost kill my own mother.

"So what changed" I questioned. "I did Nessie, I, I imprinted on you"

"You, what?" my voice cracked and I was completely freaking out.

"Nessie do you even understand what imprinting is?" did I, did I, I questioned myself. Of course I did. I knew darn well what imprinting was.

"Of course I do, I'm not stupid. But why now after all theses years of lies you tell me now" I was yelling, I was so mad and I don't know why but I was starting to hate him.

"Look Ness I know you're not stupid but the reason why I told you now is because my feelings have depend for you, I don't just love you Ness, I'm in love with you" I knew exactly why I hated Jacob, He thought just because he imprinted on me I would just me putty in his hands that I would melt in to his arms like butter, well not this girl, never.

"If you did really care for me, you would have told me 8 years ago so don't think this is going to be some magical fairy tale because its not, I don't know who you think you are or what clam you think you have over me..."

Jacob cut me off "Ness please let me explain, I should have told you but I didn't your dad wanted you to have a normal child hood and not to feel pressured and I respected you enough, to respect your family's wishes"

"My whole family knows to, oh this is not happing to me" everything in my life up to so far has been a scam and lie. Who can you trust when your own mother and farther lie to you.

"To me every moment, every laugh, every little bit of it has all been a lie to me. Stay away from me Jacob I don't want to see you ever again" maybe I'm being harsh but that is the way I feel right now.

I'm going to my family and try to make some light on this whole thing but honestly, I don't think there's ever any going back for what has happened here, is way to deep to just forget.


End file.
